Be specific in identifying behaviors that bother you

Instructions

  1. Keep your observations specific and avoid generalizations
    Let’s say there are immigrant families living on your street and one of them doesn’t take care of their property. You can say, “I haven’t seen the immigrant family living at house no. 234 mow their lawn recently” instead of “Immigrants never take care of their property.” The second statement is a generalization because the other immigrant families may be taking good care of their homes.

  2. Politely interject and specify the behavior that’s bothering you
    For example, let’s say you’re having a teacher’s meeting and the principal drifts off and starts telling his old war stories from his army days. You can raise your hand or stand up and politely say, “Mr. Abbot, you’ve told us these same war stories many times in previous meetings. Do you mind if we finish up the meeting so that we can get back to class?” This is more effective than yawning audibly, rolling your eyes or murmuring amongst yourselves as he keeps rambling on.

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