Choose the right people for emotional support by reflecting on past experiences with them
from Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It by Ethan Kross
How to Apply This
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Make a list of the people you go to for emotional support
Write it down. -
Reflect on your experiences with each person - did they make you feel validated and understood?
If the answer is no, put a cross beside their name. -
Did they guide you towards brainstorming practical solutions?
Put a cross beside those who don’t help you distance yourself and think objectively. For example, comments such as “He’s such a jerk!” or “I can’t believe he did that!” aren’t constructive and only cause you to become more deeply immersed in your problem. -
Whenever you have a stressful experience, reflect on who helped and who didn’t
You can add to or edit your list whenever necessary. Remember that people are often best suited to different problems - your brother might be better at helping with family drama while your partner might be better at career advice.
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