Leading Lightly

Choose to be personally accountable and work towards it

Instructions

Stop telling stories that portray you as a blameless victim
Be aware of stories that strip you of accountability and stop telling them to yourself and others. For example, if your project manager is difficult to talk to, stop complaining to your colleagues about how terrible your boss is. If you’re talking to someone and you notice yourself telling such stories, just stop talking. If you’re ruminating about it, then stop that line of thought. Instead, admit to yourself that personal accountability is a choice you’re willing to make.
Identify whether you have a victim mindset
Ask yourself these 3 questions: When was the last time that I was in an unfair situation? When was the last time I felt hopeless, not capable enough, or not good enough to accomplish something? When was the last time I felt like someone was actively sabotaging me? Write down your answers. Then for each question, ask yourself: How familiar is this feeling for me? If these feelings are strongly familiar to you, then you tend to adopt a victim lens. Acknowledge this mentality and then be prepared to change it.
Keep your promises and apologize when you fail to do so
If you offer to do something for someone or accept their request, take it seriously and ensure that you act on it. If you break a commitment, own up to it by first stating your failure and apologizing to everyone concerned. Secondly, acknowledge the inconvenience you’ve caused others. Then ask what actions you can take to fix the damage caused. Finally, make a new promise if possible.
Break the cycle of enabling those who aren’t taking personal accountability
Let’s say you have a weak employee whom you like, but instead of confronting them about their constant poor performance, you choose to do some of their work for them. To break this cycle, notice the impulse to help them when it arises. Then ask yourself, “Has this person already taken full accountability for their work?” If they haven’t, then talk to them about their poor work instead of rescuing them.