Mars and Venus Starting Over

Deal with any negative attitudes preventing you from moving on.

Instructions

If you feel resentment, remember the love you once felt and forgive your ex-partner for their mistakes.
To uncover buried love, you may need to explore these emotions:
a) You may need to feel the anger that you wasted so much of your life and you were betrayed or deprived of the love and support that you deserved.
b) You may need to feel the sadness that the relationship is over, that you don’t have someone to love, and that it didn’t work out.
c) You may need to feel the fear that you are a fool or that you will be fooled again, that you don’t know how to make a relationship work.
d) You may need to feel the sorrow that you cannot go back and make it work, time is lost, and you cannot change your partner’s feelings.
If you feel blame, explore the four healing emotions (anger, sadness, fear, and sorrow), then forgive and forget.
- Men: Examine how you contributed to the problems in the relationship so you can forgive and ensure you don’t react with blame in future relationships.
- Women: Explore how you were affected by the problems in the relationship across the four healing emotions, and find forgiveness without bearing too much responsibility for the problems.
If you feel indifferent, remember the hopes and dreams you felt at the beginning of the relationship.
This will help you begin to feel your sadness about breaking up. From here, you can reflect on what you didn’t want to happen, explore feelings of anger, and then allow forgiveness.
If you feel guilty, forgive yourself for ending the relationship.
Write an in-depth apology letter sharing your mistakes and hoping your ex can forgive you one day.
Let go of any insecurity.
Acknowledge that reconciliation is not possible at this time. Grieve the end of the relationship and release hurt with forgiveness, understanding, and gratitude
If you feel hopeless about loving again, use this belief to explore unresolved feelings.
Explore your feelings of fear related to never loving again, and then consider the other times in your life when you had similar fears. This will help you explore unresolved feelings.
Explore jealousy and envy by writing down your feelings
For example, if you feel jealous that an ex-partner is getting married, write down exactly what you feel. Is it fear, sadness, anger, or sorrow? Why do you think you are feeling this way? Your answers to this will help you understand your feelings more and identify the necessary actions to address them.