Enhance the responsiveness of your relationships

Ask someone what matters to them the most
Let’s say you have a child that misbehaves often and is out of control. Take a blank sheet of paper and write down “What Matters To Me” at the top. Then ask the child to write down the things that matter the most to them. Let them write and draw whatever they want. Read the paper and you’ll gain a deeper understanding of who they are and why they behave the way they do.

See your partner as they see themselves
Be intentional with finding out what your partner is going through. For example, when your partner walks through the door at the end of the work day, show them that you notice their presence. Ask them how their day was and just listen without offering judgments or solutions.

Validate other people’s hopes, fears, and passions
For example, if you’re a teacher, visit the home of a troubled student and have an open conversation with their parents. Ask the parents what their hopes and dreams are for their child. Ask them what they think about how the school and faculty are handling things. Show genuine interest in what they’re saying so that they also feel motivated to play their part.

Be proactive in showing that you care about someone
If you notice that someone is feeling down, offer them a soothing comment or even a hug where appropriate. If they want you to just listen, then be present and available.

Go beyond small talk and share something real
When having your next conversation with someone, intentionally share some personal information that you normally wouldn’t divulge. It could be a struggle or challenge you’re having at work or home. Show some vulnerability and trust that the other person will do the same. If they do, then that’s a sign to develop a deeper connection.