Forgive and heal wounds

Express your pain.
The wounded partner must express their feelings as openly and simply as possible. Did you or your partner feel robbed of comfort? Did you/your partner feel abandoned and alone? Did you/your spouse feel devalued by your partner at a time when you sorely needed encouragement?

Recognize your partner's emotional harm.
The hurting partner should be emotionally present and recognize the injured partner's pain and their role in it. So, assure your partner that you realize how your actions have caused them pain.

Understand one another.
You both need to express your profound feelings about the incident and describe how you understand each other's pain reasons for specific behaviors. If your partner's behavior has hurt you, understand what his emotions or fears were behind such behavior.

Apologize and accept your apologies.
A partner who has wounded another partner should honestly apologize. Genuine apologies make a partner more willing to forgive. If you have hurt your partner, explain to him you understand how he feels upset and then sincerely apologize. If you should accept an apology, explain to your partner that you appreciate his genuine guilt and understand what led him to such behavior. Then, truly forgive.

Be direct about your emotional needs.
The partner who was hurt should say what he needs from his partner now and ask him to meet his emotional needs. For example, you can tell your partner: "I need your comfort. I need your touch. I need you to listen to me honestly", etc.

Work on trust.
Agree that the behaviors that hurt your partner will not be repeated or that you will take certain actions to reduce the possibility of hurting your partner. After an affair, for example, a couple may agree to disclose any contact with the former lover to the wounded partner.