Free your children from playing roles.
from How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber
Giving your child a label can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Children are heavily influenced by what their parents think of them—if you were to call your child bossy, they would begin acting bossy simply because you’ve said they’re bossy so they must be bossy!
Encourage your children to see themselves in a positive light, and they will develop more positive attributes.
How to Apply This
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Look for opportunities to show your child a new picture of him/herself.
When your child does something good, point it out! Tell them what you like about their action—it can even be something as simple as them keeping their toys clean and in good working condition for a few months. -
*Put children in situations where they can see themselves differently.*
Give them responsibilities. Let them help you with household tasks, give them a simple job to do, etc. -
*Let children overhear you say something positive about them.*
While your child is present, tell someone else about how you appreciate them. -
*Model the behavior you’d like to see.*
Children learn by example, so act like the person you want them to be. -
*Be a storehouse for your child’s special moments.*
When your child begins to speak negatively about herself, remind her of a past incident where she did well. -
*When your child behaves according to the old label, state your feelings and/or expectations.*
Correct misbehavior by calmly informing your child of what you expected them to do.
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