Create an OK/Not OK master list for your home.
Sit in your Zen Den and write down a list of what’s permissible and non-permissible in your home. For example, do you prefer your environment to be in terms of cleanliness, noise, and lighting? What is OK/not OK for you?
Create an OK/Not OK list for your work.
For example, do you enjoy your career and working conditions? How do you interact with your colleagues? Are you OK with the corporate culture? Write them all down.
Create an OK/Not OK list for your finances.
For example, do you prefer sharing a budget with your partner? What are your preferences regarding spending versus saving? What do you think about splitting the bill with others? Write them all down.
Create an OK/Not OK list for your relationships.
For example, is it OK for you to date casually? Do you prefer handshakes or hugs? Do you prefer texting or calling? When, where, and with whom is it OK to have sex? How much touching are you OK with? Do you prefer going out to staying in? Write them down.
Create an OK/Not OK list for your body.
For example, do you have a nonnegotiable daily/weekly yoga or meditation practice? Write them down.
Create an OK/Not OK list for your communication style.
For example, do you enjoy quiet time or lots of communication? Are you OK with people cutting you off while you’re speaking? Do you prefer deep or light conversations? Write them down.

Identify and define your boundary violations

How to Apply This