No Bullsh!t Leadership

Learn to provide good feedback during difficult conversations

Instructions

Deliver your criticism with extreme clarity.
Instead of raising too many issues at a go, focus on one specific message you want them to remember. For example, you can say, “I’ve noticed that whenever we have meetings, you don’t like being asked questions about your work. You shut down and avoid any discussion." Focus on this one issue until it’s resolved.
Balance your feedback with positive and negative comments.
If you have an issue with someone’s behavior, consider their overall performance when correcting them. For example, “John, I think your overall performance this year has been excellent. However, you tend to ignore expert advice from others. This habit will hold back your career unless you stop it.” This shows the person that their bad behavior is inconsistent with who they truly are.
Use tangible examples to describe the behavior you’re criticizing.
When you notice bad behavior, pull the person aside and offer them immediate feedback instead of waiting too long. Then provide them with specific examples of what they’ve done wrong. For example, “During the meeting, you spoke to John in a way that isn’t befitting for a leader in this organization. Your language, posture, and tone were unacceptable.”
Allow the other person to talk.
Make it a conversation rather than a sermon by allowing the person to give their perspective and ask questions. Ask them leading questions, for example, “Do you think the comments and observations of your colleagues are valuable to your growth?” When they respond, listen carefully.
Clarify how critical your feedback is to the person’s future.
Are you suggesting that they make a few tweaks to their behavior? Or are you asking them to make a major overhaul? Will changing their current behavior improve their leadership capacity a little bit? If they fail to take heed, will their behavior likely end their employment? Make all this clear.
Clarify what they need to take accountability for.
Be specific on what they need to work on to improve their performance or behavior. For example, you can say, “Now that we know what you need to change, go and think about how you’ll fix this. Let’s talk next week about how you plan on resolving this.”
Offer to support them to raise their performance or change their behavior.
Think about the resources and guidance you’re willing to invest in helping them raise their game. You can say, “I’m here to support you as you resolve this issue. However, you need to put in the work to make this change happen.”