Retrace your path to tell your complete story

Notice your behavior.
Firstly, you need to notice that you are moving away from dialogue. Ask yourself whether you are displaying silence or violence. Consider whether you are still focused on a mutual purpose too.

Identify emotions and analyze your stories.
When you spot that you have moved away from dialogue, identify the emotions causing the shift. Are you upset at being criticized? Are you angry because other people are not hearing you? Has your self-esteem been damaged? Then, look at what stories are creating those emotions. For example, somebody says that they don’t like your idea. Then, you create a story in your head that says this person is criticizing you because they don’t think you’re intelligent enough to generate good ideas. This hurts your self-esteem, and you become upset as a result. By understanding the stories you have created, and how they are generating emotions, you can look at things more objectively.

Get back to the facts.
What evidence do you have to support your story? In most cases, the evidence isn’t there, and when you reduce the situation to simple facts, you can see things more clearly.

Tell the rest of the story.
Finally, tell the rest of the story. Ask important questions like “Am I ignoring my role in this situation? “What are the motivations of the other person?”“What do I want out of this conversation?” When you start filling in the rest of the story and take it outside of your own head, you dispel many negative emotions that cloud your judgment. This allows you to get back to dialogue much easier.