Understand how your child reacts when they are upset and tailor your response to them.

Paying close attention to your child’s character is instrumental in helping them cope with their emotions. Different children respond to situations differently, so make sure you understand your child’s temperament and personality. You will then be able to tailor the perfect response to their wild emotions.

1. *Understand that children usually object when their words are repeated back to them.*
   For example, if your child says, “I don’t like Jack anymore,” respond with, “Sounds like you’re really annoyed with him,” instead of, “You don’t like Jack anymore.”

2. *Understand that some children prefer silence when they are upset.*
   Some children may not want to talk about why they’re upset; they may just need you to be there physically. If your child is like this, simply hug them and sit with them in silence for a few minutes—they’ll definitely feel better afterward.

3. *Respond with the appropriate amount of intensity.*
   If your child is extremely worked up, respond with a similar intensity. If your child is just mildly frustrated, respond less intensely.

4. *Help them re-phrase their self-directed insults.*
   If your child calls herself fat, dumb, ugly, etc., rephrase that insult and remove the negative name she has called herself. For example, if your child calls himself dumb for not being able to complete his homework on time, respond with something along the lines of, “It must be discouraging when work takes longer than you’d expect.”