Use words and phrases that create rapport

By expressing yourself in this way, you will show respect on which you can build rapport. It also allows you to create a frame of agreement on which, without resistance, you will be able to redirect and lead the conversation.

1. Every time you want to use the word “but,” replace it with “and.”
   The word “but” negates everything that was said before it. Instead of saying “That’s true, but…”, say, “That’s true, and here’s something else that’s also true,” or, “That’s an interesting idea, and here’s another way to think about it.”

2. Express things in terms of modest diffidence.
   Instead of saying “certainly” or “undoubtedly,” use phrases such as, “It appears to me…”, “I imagine it to be so…”, “If I am not mistaken…”, and “What about the possibility of…”

3. To maintain rapport with a person you are speaking to, and to share with them what you feel is true, use three phrases that make an agreement frame.
   “I appreciate and...”, “I respect and...”, and “I agree and...”