Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone

Belonging is a fundamental human need that is crucial for our emotional and mental well-being. It refers to the feeling of being accepted, supported, and included in a group or community, and it plays an essential role in shaping our identities and sense of self-worth.

Belonging can manifest in various forms, such as being part of a group of friends, a community, a workplace, a team, or a family. However, not feeling like we belong within our family can be especially challenging, as families are typically the primary source of emotional support and guidance.

We may not believe it, but even in seemingly "perfect" families, individuals may still struggle with feelings of not fitting in or not being accepted. This is why it is essential to develop and improve our fitting skills, which involve our ability to connect with others, communicate effectively, and express our emotions in healthy ways.

As human beings, we all have a deep-seated desire for true belonging. It is a desire to be part of something that is greater than ourselves, something that brings us a sense of purpose and meaning. Yet, this sense of belonging cannot be attained by relying solely on others; it must be discovered within ourselves first.

To truly experience belonging, we must have the courage to stand alone and face the uncertainties and vulnerabilities that come with it. This requires a level of self-acceptance and authenticity that is essential to genuine connection and belonging. In other words, we cannot be true to others if we are not true to ourselves.

Although it is natural to crave connections with others and a sense of belonging, this desire should not come at the expense of our authenticity, freedom, or power. Unfortunately, in our current culture, a lack of civility and tolerance can make it difficult to find a sense of belonging without compromising our true selves. Striking a balance between loyalty to a group and loyalty to ourselves can be challenging.

Ultimately, spirituality can play a crucial role in helping us achieve this balance. Simply defined, spirituality is about recognizing and celebrating that we are all connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is rooted in love and compassion. This understanding of spirituality gives people more freedom to express their individuality without fear of jeopardizing their sense of belonging.

Loneliness is becoming a more common issue nowadays, and it's been linked to numerous physical and mental health issues. These may include increased risk of depression, anxiety, cognitive decline, as well as a higher risk of developing cardiovascular disease, stroke, and even premature death.

One effective way to combat loneliness is by connecting with people who are different from us. This involves breaking free from our social bubbles and seeking out relationships with people who come from diverse backgrounds, cultures, and experiences.

Pain is an unavoidable part of life, and it can be hard to cope with. While it may seem easier to ignore painful emotions, it's better to accept and acknowledge them so we can manage them effectively. We must learn how to recognize, name, and accept our pain, just as we do with any other emotion. Denying our pain can hinder our healing process and prevent us from moving forward.

Many people struggle to build their courage muscle. They often worry about the opinions of others and become overly focused on being perfect, seeking approval, proving their worth, or pretending to be someone they are not. To help individuals build their courage muscle, they can practice using the BRAVING acronym.

BRAVING is a tool that individuals can use to strengthen their courage muscle. It is an acronym that stands for the following concepts: Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Non-judgment, and Generosity.

The first element of BRAVING is Boundaries. This element involves learning how to set boundaries and hold them. People with healthy boundaries understand what they will and will not tolerate, and they know how to communicate this clearly to others.

The second element is Reliability. It means being honest, accountable, and dependable. Reliable people keep their commitments and follow through on their promises. They understand that their words and actions have consequences, and they take responsibility for them.

The third element is Accountability. It means taking responsibility for one's actions, both good and bad. Accountable people acknowledge their mistakes and learn from them. They do not blame others or make excuses for their behavior.

The fourth element is Vault. It means keeping secrets and not sharing information that is not ours to share. People who honor the vault understand that trust is essential in relationships, and they do not betray it by sharing confidential information.

The fifth element is Integrity. It means staying true to our values, even when it is challenging. People who have integrity do what is right, even when no one is watching. They understand that their actions define their character, and they are responsible for their choices.

The sixth element is Non-judgment. It means approaching situations and people without judgment or criticism. People who practice non-judgment understand that everyone has their own unique perspective and experiences, and they do not impose their beliefs or expectations on others.

The final element is Generosity. It means giving and receiving help and assuming the best about others. Generous people are willing to lend a helping hand, and they believe in the inherent goodness of others. They understand that everyone has their own struggles, and they are compassionate and kind towards them.

By practicing BRAVING, we can not only strengthen our courage muscles, but also establish and maintain healthy relationships that respect our boundaries.