How to Break Up with Your Phone: The 30-Day Plan to Take Back Your Life

Tech companies know that smartphones are designed to be addictive. They intentionally include features that trigger the same brain chemicals and reward loops found in addictions. Their goal is to make us spend more time and attention on our phones.

Even tech giants like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates have limited their own kids' access to smartphones because they know the risks. Mental health experts are also warning us about the dangers of addiction. That's why it's important for us to be aware of these risks and set limits for ourselves and our children. We need to be mindful of how much time we spend on our phones and make sure it doesn't take over our lives.

To maximize the amount of time users spend on their devices, designers employ techniques that exploit our brain chemistry and trigger addictive behaviors. They specifically target a brain chemical called dopamine, which triggers feelings of pleasure and forms associations between certain behaviors and rewards. This can lead to addictive behaviors as users crave the satisfaction they get from using their devices.

Let's take Instagram as an example. When you post something on Instagram, the platform doesn't show you the number of "likes" right away. They purposefully delay it to create anticipation. The idea is to give you a big burst of pleasure when you finally see all the "likes" at once. By timing this dopamine rush just right, Instagram makes sure you keep coming back for more, scrolling through your feed and seeking that rewarding feeling.

Social media has become a major part of many people's lives, but it can have a detrimental impact on their mental health and relationships.

First, these social media platforms are collecting a ton of data about us. They use this data to show us targeted ads and even manipulate our behavior. So, when we're spending time on social media, we're basically giving our attention to someone else who's making money off it. That's the attention we could have used for our families, friends, or ourselves!

Next, spending too much time on social media can mess with our mental well-being. Studies have found that the more we use social media, the less satisfied we tend to be.

Lastly, because social media companies have access to our personal information, it's easier for them to spread false news and create a world where we can't agree on what's true anymore. They use algorithms to show us content that aligns with our beliefs, creating echo chambers where we're only exposed to one side of things. This can lead to a fragmented understanding of the truth and divide people even more.

The human mind is not equipped to think about two things simultaneously. When we attempt to multitask, what actually occurs is a continuous shifting of our attention from one task to another. Each time we switch tasks, our brains require approximately 25 minutes to fully refocus on the new task at hand. This constant shifting of attention is mentally exhausting and can lead to a decrease in overall productivity and cognitive performance.

These days, it's getting harder and harder for people to stay focused and ignore distractions. We're constantly bombarded with notifications, emails, and all sorts of things that can easily grab our attention. And when that happens, our ability to concentrate goes down the drain. To be productive and successful, we need to develop our ability to focus.

Neuroscientists and psychologists suggest that humans have an innate drive to search for information. While this is great news, it can also lead to information overload, making it tough to decide what's important and what we should ignore. And because websites and other online platforms make money by distracting people, they're not really beneficial in helping us stay focused. At the end of the day, it's up to us to limit those distractions if we want to think deeply and get things done.

Technology can be a great tool for reminders, but it can also be a crutch that prevents us from developing our own memory skills.

Our brains have two main types of memory: short-term and long-term. Short-term memory acts as a temporary storage space for information we need at the moment. Long-term memory, on the other hand, is where we store information for a longer time. It is structured in networks of interconnected memories known as "schemas." These schemas help us make sense of the world by linking new information to our existing knowledge and experiences. The more connections we can establish between seemingly unrelated things, the more likely we are to have insightful thoughts and creative ideas.

However, relying heavily on technology for reminders and constantly being bombarded with notifications and alerts can overwhelm our working memory, which encompasses our short-term memory and has limited capacity.

When our short-term memory is overloaded, it becomes tougher to transfer new information to our long-term memory. This transfer is essential for making memories stick around for a while. But if our short-term memory is too busy dealing with reminders and notifications, it can't focus on encoding new memories properly. As a result, those memories are less likely to become permanent, and we might struggle with deep thinking and coming up with new ideas.

In the book "In This Very Life: The Liberation Teachings of the Buddha," Sayadaw U Pandita highlights the significance of achieving true happiness through a balanced approach to stress, sleep, and satisfaction. This concept emphasizes the need to address these three aspects of our lives to attain a state of well-being and contentment.

One aspect that can contribute to stress is our constant interaction with phones. Our phones can expose us to unexpected and unpleasant situations, leading to feelings of anxiety and tension. Moreover, the blue light emitted by electronic devices like phones, tablets, and computers can disrupt our sleep patterns. This disruption can result in poor-quality sleep and potentially have adverse effects on our overall health.

The Division of Sleep Medicine at Harvard Medical School explains that even short-term sleep deprivation can significantly impact our cognitive abilities and emotional state. It can impair our judgment, mood, learning capacity, and ability to retain information effectively. That's why it's important to take breaks from technology and give ourselves a chance to experience flow and be creative.

Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi introduced the concept of 'flow' to describe a mental state in which individuals are fully engaged and immersed in their activities. This state of flow is characterized by deep focus, heightened concentration, and a sense of complete absorption in the present moment. By disconnecting from technology and allowing ourselves to immerse in activities without distractions, we can better cultivate this state of flow, leading to increased creativity and a sense of fulfillment.

In 2011, Judson Brewer and his colleagues wanted to see if mindfulness training could help people quit smoking. They conducted a study where they compared two groups: one received mindfulness training, and the other followed a traditional smoking cessation program called "Freedom from Smoking." The results showed that those who received the mindfulness training had a quit rate twice as high as the Freedom from Smoking group.

So, what makes mindfulness an effective approach to breaking addictions? Mindfulness practices involve cultivating a state of non-judgmental awareness, enabling individuals to observe their experiences without attempting to change or manipulate them. When applied to addiction, mindfulness helps individuals identify the triggers that lead to their addictive behaviors and allows them to observe their cravings without feeling the need to give in to them.

By developing this heightened awareness and acceptance of their cravings, individuals become better equipped to face their desires head-on instead of avoiding or suppressing them. They can acknowledge the presence of cravings, observe how they manifest in their body and mind, and choose how to respond to them consciously.

Technology Triage is a 30-day program that can help us build healthier relationships with our phones. It's not about punishing ourselves but rather becoming aware of how we use our phones and making sure it aligns with how we want to live.

Think of Technology Triage as a mindfulness practice. It guides you to pay attention to when and how you use your phone and how it makes you feel. It also helps you notice those moments when you feel engaged, energized, joyful, effective, and purposeful while using your phone.

The goal is to be more conscious of your phone usage and make choices that support the kind of life you want to lead. By participating in this program, you'll learn to be mindful of when and why you reach for your phone and discover activities that bring you genuine satisfaction and fulfillment.