Who Says You Can't? YOU DO

“Massive change comes through deep questioning.”

Change is continuous and inevitable. We change every day—psychologically, emotionally, and physically—and it is up to us to choose what we wish to become. In fact, to grow, we need to change. Deep questioning can help us direct this change into the desired outcome. However, not every question that we ask ourselves promotes positive change. If we focus on questions that emphasize our inabilities to do something, or make us feel powerless, unimportant, and miserable, then we will never achieve success in our quest for personal growth. If we change the questions that we ask ourselves, we can change our lives. 

The first question we should ask ourselves is, “Who am I?” We must determine if we are loving, respectful, affectionate, kind-hearted, or compassionate. Our focus should be on positive character traits. Therefore, even if we feel that we do not possess some of these positive characteristics, we can ask ourselves how we can become a person who is all these things. Many ideas come to mind, so we should start working on the courage to act like such a person. 

There is a risk that some people will lie to themselves when answering the question, “Who am I?” However, that will prolong their dissatisfaction. And a positive change won’t occur in these circumstances. 

The next questions we ask will go deeper, but they are necessary to inspire growth. For example, do the things that I’m doing now reflect the real person I am? Do I want a better relationship with my family? What would I have to do to achieve that? 

True and massive change comes only through questioning, so we need to fight the urge to stop when we are about to reveal our true selves.

“Success without appreciation is no success at all.”

Many stories of wisdom teach us that we should not dwell on what we do not have, but instead, appreciate what we do have. The feeling of appreciation is invigorating and thrilling. It can be a powerful driving force for achieving success. If we stop belittling ourselves and our capabilities and instead focus on our abilities and values, we will adopt a winning attitude. 

Sadly, our ego often prevents us from showing true appreciation for people who deserve it. Therefore, we should start embracing the feeling of appreciation because it can break down our emotional walls and help us gain courage for future endeavors. Appreciation will also help us enjoy the process of success.

“We can adapt pleasure or pain to anything we desire.”

Our emotions play a key role in life-altering decisions. Explosions of emotion often make a change in the life course we’ve taken. We can use this built-up pressure within ourselves to make a deliberate change in our minds and break bad habits or patterns. To do that, employ a neuro-sensory association (NSA). An NSA is a technique used to break a habit that we deem dangerous, or simply bad. The trick is to turn what we’ve considered pleasure into pain.

First, we need to know what we want, that is, what we wish to achieve. Since we haven’t yet achieved it, we need to think about what is stopping us in this pursuit. In the process of breaking bad habits, it is of the utmost importance to take ownership and recognize that, in some way, we hurt ourselves. Then think about the qualities you value about yourself and the qualities you wish to adopt to improve the quality of your life. Facing bad habits will help you break them if you do it consciously by connecting them to pain and not desire. This will require you to recondition your nervous system. When you think about bad habits, think about the effects which these bad habits have on you and the world around you.

“Life is defined on the notion that our mind is definitely going to find what we focus on.”

If we wish to reach our potential and make positive progress, directing our attention towards our goals is critical to success. We should consciously and willfully decide what to focus on to improve our quality of life. When we focus on our failures, weakness, and inabilities, we won’t be able to achieve positive personal growth.

We should choose to seek things that we want, not things that make us regress or stagnate. 

We have to keep in mind that feelings of success and self-realization should not come from external forces or circumstances. The life stories of successful people have shown that our inner-self should affect the outside world, not vice versa. If we start feeling powerful, self-confident, and optimistic, our personal satisfaction will affect the way we influence the outside world. This is only possible if we maintain our focus on things that we want to achieve.

“To know what you really want, you have to know yourself first. ”

Achievement and fulfillment do not always go hand in hand. We often believe that after we’ve achieved something, we will experience a great sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. However, that is not always the case. The reason behind that disappointment is not knowing what we truly want.

Sometimes we are driven by other people’s ambitions. So, when we do succeed, we do not feel genuinely thrilled and invigorated. To know what we want to achieve in our lives, we have to know ourselves first. Only then will our attempts to find personal and professional happiness be fruitful. This can be achieved when our achievement results in fulfillment. 

The better we know ourselves, the more clarity we will have about what we want. This knowledge will motivate us to work harder and smarter to achieve success in the way we define it and understand it for ourselves.

“The moment you think you have done enough is the moment you stop growing.”

People’s mega-state consists of a mental, a verbal, and a physical element. People are complex beings, whose personal growth requires determination, focus, and the proper emotional response to challenges. 

As mentioned previously, directing our attention to what we want is crucial to success. Our thoughts have tremendous power, which, if used properly, can be crucial for attaining personal and professional happiness and success. We can control our emotions by carefully choosing our thoughts.

Staying away from negative self-talk will make you more enthusiastic, self-confident, and resolute. By doing so, you will break the habit of constantly criticizing yourself. 

Finally, opening ourselves to new experiences can help us turn fears into new, positive experiences. We should do something that we’ve always wanted to do and break the routine of our everyday lives.

“A life partner is not about battling each other, but overcoming life’s challenges together.”

Relationships are complex, and they can be the source of great happiness and great despair. It is of utmost importance to keep in mind that partners are individuals whose job is not to fulfill each other. In fact, we must fulfill ourselves. We often feel incomplete when our partner is not there to fill the gaps in our lives. A true partnership entails mutual support, love, appreciation, and respect for each other’s wishes and ambitions.  

People often try to control their partners because, in reality, they lack control over their own lives. 

To find a suitable partner, we should know what we want in a partner. Once we’ve made a list of the qualities that we desire, we can move on to question whether our behavior can attract such a partner. Then, we can start making changes if needed to achieve our goals. Finally, people who are in the right environment, mentally and physically, are ready to meet the right partner.

When in a relationship, people should engage in meaningful conversations to ensure open and honest communication. 

There are techniques and strategies to achieve a loving and meaningful relationship. But we can only command our own emotions. Think of visions, dreams, and goals that you can achieve together with your partner, and make an actual plan about how to make them happen. A successful relationship is fun, so partners should frequently engage in activities that are new to them.

“Our soul is one with our body and mind.”

Our bodies are not separate entities; they exist in a union with our souls and our minds. Becoming healthy and fit does not only affect our physical well-being but also our emotional and physiological state.

It is easy to get depressed if you don’t have your dream body. But this pessimistic mindset will prevent you from ever achieving it. You should show respect for your body and for the process of improving it so that you can achieve your goals more easily. A true balance between the body, the soul, and the mind is necessary for obtaining happiness and personal satisfaction.

There are some more important tips regarding our physical well-being. First thing in the morning is the best time to be active. Getting a personal trainer to get into shape is crucial because he/she will show you how to do the exercises properly. Training should be fun, so listening to upbeat music or anything that may motivate you more. The fastest way to burn fat is to do high-intensity interval training (HIIT). Finally, if you feel that you’ve entered a comfort zone in terms of exercising, then step it up.

“This life is a plane of endless possibilities.”

By fixating on the past, we become blind to the future and forget to live in the present. The choices and the decisions we make in the present affect our future, and as a result, will affect how we feel about the past.

It is astonishing how many possibilities are presented to us during our lifetime. The first step is to start controlling our thoughts. This will affect what we say and what we do. 

People should be held accountable for their actions. Sometimes they attribute their success to sheer luck, however, others take full responsibility for both their success and their failure. 

It is important to remember that people have control over what happens to them because everything in the world happens due to cause and effect.

“Create a vision, a projection into the future, or something to look forward to.”

Happiness does not happen due to external factors, but rather due to internal factors. You’ve always had the ability to be happy because, in principle, people have always had the capability to produce any type of emotion they like. When we create a projection of our desired future, we become more willing to make it happen. 

People can choose to be happy by focusing on pleasant experiences and moments, as well as on future goals. If they dwell on their failures and weaknesses, then they will feel unhappy and unable to reach their own potential.

Focusing our attention on what we feel is great in our lives will bring us closer to visualizing our goals and the processes that will lead us to them.